Change, recharge, re-energise
It’s amazing what a difference new batteries make. I just changed the head of my electric toothbrush and put in a new battery. WOW. I had forgotten how much easier it was when the right amount of power was available – how much cleaner my teeth feel. Just a simple little AA battery change had a huge affect on performance.
Life is like that, don’t you think? We just need a little tweak now and again – in our outlook, to our attitude, in how we react. A change of batteries as it were – fresh energy.
I have just ‘tweaked’ things a tad at work and it’s amazing how much lighter I feel. I have been a Team Lead for the best part of 3.5 years now, and for a range of reasons, decided to step down from the position. I had no idea how much the responsibility of my team’s progress and success were weighing me down until I relinquished the reins and became one of the worker bees again. Now I’m just a minion without the day to day stress of being a leader.
The decision was one of the toughest I have had to make work-wise in many years. Sometimes, though, you just have to do what’s best for you regardless of the consequences. My decision could be a career limiting move but my sanity is worth more to me than the job right now. I’ll admit it – change is hard for me. I’m not a big fan – I want things to stay the same – like the guy in the coffee shop who makes the best coffee and just left – almost enough to make me want to give up coffee.
On a personal level, I feel like my batteries are flat, almost completely depleted. I miss the zest for life I used to have – the energy to do simple tasks like garden or keep the house tidy! I miss walking out the door without a sense of dread or fear or need to look over my shoulder all the time. I miss being able to sleep without nightmares – just sweet, simple sleep – unafraid of the dark or the what if’s that nag me! I miss being spontaneous and joyful and mischievous.
The most I seem to be able to do these days is look for little snippets of humour, to continue to be grateful every day for my home, my work, the strength to get out of bed.