To work or not to work…
It’s been a few weeks of ups and downs. Started with a phone call to say that they were looking to let people go who were unassigned for a long stretch. Given that it’s been a little over 5 months since I had any work to do, it probably meant that I would be another victim of the off shoring of IT jobs. Let me add that in the time, no-one has spoken to us, had a meeting with us. In fact, they seem to have forgotten they even have people with our expertise in WA.
Mentally I prepared myself. Then came another call “we’ve found some work for you”. OK good. Turns out they were asking the impossible so back to unassigned. So it’s been like that for the a couple of weeks – you have work, no you don’t, yes you do. The back and forth has landed me on this spot of now having work to do but the back and forth has left me less than inspired or enthusiastic.
I am now part of team who I will never meet as they are all based in Sydney or Auckland, and I am not sure how long the gig will last until I am back to being unassigned. I have been given a couple of little things to do but it’s hard to see where this will lead. I am used to being busy at work so this is painful to say the least.
Mean while, I am severely stressed. I am not sleeping well – even my colleagues are commenting on how tired I look – and have no appetite. I have done exactly 7 hours of real work this year, and that hesitantly as I am losing confidence.
On the plus side, I am still getting paid. I can still have my Wednesdays at home. I can still pay my mortgage and bills. I have a lot to be thankful for so am trying to practice gratitude every day regardless of how I feel. Now I need to decide how badly my mental health is suffering and if the price is getting to be too high. I need to find meaning in life outside of work.