Solo Survivor


Some days I feel like a rodent on the hamster wheel – moving as fast as I can but stuck in one place, going nowhere. Simply going through the motions of life.

It’s like I’m on auto-pilot – get up, shower, go to work, come home, prepare tomorrow’s food, try to sleep, get up and do it all over again day after day. Mind-numbing sameness.

The words of a song haunt me:


It can all seem so pointless and futile but something within me fights on, won’t let me give up. Seemingly out of the blue, in a momentary lapse from the mundane, I will suddenly notice a sunrise or smell a flower or hear the birds singing; I will hear a child laugh, feel the warmth of the sun on my face and something deep inside of me changes. Just for a moment things are not quite so bleak and I catch my breath for the next wave, the next turn of the wheel.

1 Comment

  1. Angie Van Greuning

    Shew! That was so beautifully written Su my friend!
    I am finding that some days when I am ill and can’t even read or get up. It’s like I am on that hamster wheel. I so want to get off, but God says just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

    So i do that, and slowly I find a way off the wheel. Especially since I am not one for getting stuck in any routine. A blessing and any curse for sure. But mostly any I step of the wheel I seem to go flying off it, but somehow it feels like I any am caught in the arms of a loving God, who carries me through that day, and tells me to keep my eyes open for Divine Appointments, and brings me across people’s lives, but who God had actually pre destined for me to meet. And it happens in a split second, that moment when God says, say something to that one. Or write this down and put u on fb. Or send an sms or message to someone who God pre planned for us to impact there lives.
    So i look for it and trust that when I get taken out again a and am in too much pain and weakness, that’s when I feel stuck on the hamster wheel.
    But each time I get the courage, I sing, and I ask God to give me something for someone else. Then I go flying off the wheel again.

    And I want to say to you Su! You might feel like you on that wheel! Just know that whether you know it or not, you touch lives deeply! And us an honor to be in your life!
    Love Ang


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