I decided to go on a little day trip. Prompted by my friend challenging me with ‘time to stretch and try something new, and fun ? ‘ I used to be adventurous and fun – I decided to make list – still busy with that – of all the things I want to do or could do without the limitations of this disease and work through them! So this is number one. I am up before sunrise and get ready.
I am fuelled up and ready to go. My first sign of apprehension appears as I’m on the highway convinced my GPS is leading me astray but decide to press on, pushing past the anxiety urging me to go back to the safety home. An hour into the journey, it is apparent my GPS knows the way and I feel a little foolish for my doubt.
I wind my way up hills and through forests and am soon alone on the road, happy, singing. I pass areas of fire damage where some trees are beginning to sprout new growth and it resonates with me – that’s how I feel – decimated but with new life beginning to take hold again. I remember my dad telling me how important fire is for forests every few years – and feel afresh the void he has left in my life.
A kangaroo hops across the road ahead and I am thankful it has done so before I am on the spot it crossed as I have already seen 2 dead roos hit by cars. I go through patches of drizzle but not heavy rain and I am grateful for the cool weather. Small flocks of green and yellow parrots and pink and grey galahs are on the edge of the road. I pass an area that looks like a graveyard for trees – no sign of life in them at all.
I stop in a little town for a pit stop and to pick up some brekkie and cup of tea. The war memorial is close by so I sit at a park bench and just appreciate the beauty and solitude before resuming the journey. The trees give way to miles and miles of harvested wheat fields and sheep paddocks. The farmlands remind me of my brother and I find my thoughts turning to him again.
I arrive at Wave Rock – it fascinates me to say the least. Patches of lichen looks like someone splattered paint on the rock. The rock reminds me of the Matopos in Matebeland, Zimbabwe. I decide to follow one of the trails but only manage to go a third of the way – walking through the bush is freaking me out and I am not able to settle myself so I turn back. I hear the wind in the trees and birds singing so stop to take it in – it is both peaceful and soothing. Part of me is sorry to have turned back!
I am awash with memories today – the journey itself reminds me of the road trip I did way back in 2000 when I drove from Perth to Melbourne where I worked for 9 years. I start having flashbacks to a not so pleasant time in my life but manage to shake them off thankfully. I turn the music up and sing loudly.
I hear the words of a song as if for the first time – Back to the start, my heart is heavy, feels like it’s time to dream again – and I realise the truth of them; and another one – I don’t have time to maintain these regrets – it’s time to move on and start living I reckon. Amazing how often music seems to get through to me.
I am behaving like a tourist – stop off to see the Christmas tree wishing well – so tranquil here and beautiful. Love nature. I stay here for a little while letting the tension seep out of me.
It’s been a full day and I am tired, but in a good way.