Solo Survivor

Expect the unexpected…

It’s been one of those weeks – full of the unexpected – some good, some not so much.  The week started well as Monday was a holiday but deteriorated from there. As a person who is not fond of change at the best of times, I hate weeks like this most of all.

I am on a project at work but my time is ramping down for a while on this piece of work as the project has been delayed.  It was decided that I just join another project splitting my days between the two. Sounds good in theory but managing who gets what time is not a fun thing to do. Add the complexity of my PTSD into the mix and the fun is even less.

Next comes the issue with my eye. Posterior vitreous detachment they call it. I noticed these bits floating in my eye – very annoying and distracting. I called the eye doc and managed to get an appointment  for Friday. It’s something I have to live with but the doc assures me I will get used to it and not notice it after a while. I hope that is sooner rather than later.  The news could have been much worse so I thankfully pay the $100 for the diagnosis. The other good news is that my eyes are otherwise very healthy with no signs of MD or RP so I’m grateful for that too.

Wednesday I had to see my doctor for a medical certificate work had requested I get. The good news from that visit is that my blood pressure is perfect with the doc commenting he wished all his patients had blood pressure like mine. With a history of heart problems in the family, that is welcome news indeed. I was expecting a plumber in the afternoon to replace my kitchen tap – he did not materialise and no call to say he wouldn’t be coming. It’s so hard to find good help these days! So, although I saved some money, I still have a problem with my tap.

That brings me to today. I had to get the car serviced. The first shock was the price tag of $600. But ok, so be it, has to be done. I decide to go for a walk instead of waiting at reception like I normally do. I am annoyed with myself for not bringing my earphones and for forgetting my water bottle. I go to find a place for breakfast. I had more or less decided I would use the time to write but now find myself avoiding the task. I am supposed to be doing an exercise for my next therapy session in a few days time but don’t want to ‘go there’ so am managing to let things distract me.

Soon I get a phone call telling me I need new brakes and other stuff replaced and the price has gone up to $1150 and will take an extra hour to do. Can’t play around with brakes so I give the go-ahead. I am peeved because I am sure they could have predicted that 6 months ago and fore-warned me that they would need replacing. I quickly move money around so I can pay the bill without using the credit card. Again I am thankful I had money put aside for such an occasion as this.  My whole morning has gone after a 4 hour wait for my car instead of the 2 hours I was geared for.

I have learnt on my journey through life, that things seldom go to plan. Sometimes the hiccups are small, others significant. Some moments I handle better than others and it’s hard to predict when I am going to be able to do so.  I am learning that it’s a waste of energy to get bent of shape by things that are out of my control. These days I don’t have the energy to react much anyway.  I seem to be handling the unexpected a little better than I used to. Maybe it’s my low energy levels, or perhaps, it may just be because I have been practicing mindfulness and gratitude. I am tying to look for the good even when things seem to suck; to be more thankful and whine less; to smile rather than frown. Not always easy, but I am trying.

1 Comment

  1. Angie Van Greuning

    My precious friend!

    I truly love your way of writing! Your honest and open heart! I am sorry you had to pay so much for your car, but happy about the your health being so good physically!

    You are such an inspiration my friend! Never change the precious blessing and gift that you are!

    Love Angie
    ♡ ♡ ♡


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