Solo Survivor > Uncategorized > A new name…

A new name…

Author: fordisky October 23, 2020 2 Comments

Been thinking a lot lately of the names or labels we pick up along the course of our lives – especially the negative ones like abandoned, unworthy, unlovable, unclean. So many of them. What if we were to swap that name for a new, positive one. I am going to spend some time over the next few months pondering new names to apply to myself. This idea comes from a blog post I read about God giving us a new name. The author urges us to consider what that name might be and I could not choose just one from the list. So I thought I might try to consider one at a time for the next little while.

To start I have chosen changing my name from abandoned to adopted.

The dictionary meaning of abandon is:

• To leave completely
• Give up
• Cast away, discard
• Leave, desert
• Forsake
• Withdraw from

The dictionary meaning of adopt is:

• Choose
• Take as One’s own
• Accept
• Affirm

Being abandoned says you have no value – being adopted says you are valued.
Being abandoned says you are unwanted – being adopted says you are wanted.
Being abandoned means you are alone – being adopted means you are in a family and you get a new name.
Being abandoned means fending for yourself – being adopted means having someone to care for and look after you, to do life with.

I have a friend who adopted a little girl who was abandoned near a river in Kenya. It took years for the process to go through- years of praying, hoping, longing. But this little girl who was once cast aside, is now loved, cherished not just by her adopted mom but the whole family – cousins, aunts, uncles, grandma.

I have a friend who adopted a little girl who was abandoned near a river in Kenya. It took years for the process to go through- years of praying, hoping, longing. But this little girl who was once cast aside, is now loved, cherished not just by her adopted mom but the whole family – cousins, aunts, uncles, grandma.

I think about little Zuri, my friend’s daughter. What would it look like if she did not accept her adoption? If she behaved like she was still abandoned and tried to fend for herself – not accepting the love and care her mom was offering. What if she still slept outside and not in her warm bed? Crazy huh? But isn’t that we so often do in the spiritual realm – we act like we are orphaned and alone when we have a heavenly father and a family – He sets the solitude in families and calls us His children. We are never alone because He has promised to never leave us. We can take refuge in Him – David says ‘you are my hiding place’. We are wanted – He has chosen us before the foundation of the world, He knit us together. We are valuable – the apple of his eye. We are cared for – He has given us everything we need. We have hope and a future.

I was a little like this when I first came out of the orphanage. I was expecting for a long time to be sent back because it had happened every previous time. I did not bond with my siblings, or ever feel like I fit in. I felt like an outsider my whole childhood. I kept to myself and didn’t make friends or connections. Still today, I am isolated and socially awkward. It doesn’t occur to me that I have much to offer to others.

I have a friend who likes to say life is better together. I find myself cringing when she says it and don’t quite believe it because together has so often brought nothing but pain or trauma. But at times I have benefited from the support of others – like when my brother was murdered and people rallied around and supported me and the family. Or the time my friend came and looked after me for six weeks after my knee replacement. At times I regret my isolation and loneliness. I often don’t know how to become part of a tribe without feeling like I am a burden, but I am learning.

In a lot of ways am I still living like an abandoned little girl. What about you?