{"id":215,"date":"2015-06-30T09:42:37","date_gmt":"2015-06-30T09:42:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=215"},"modified":"2015-06-30T09:42:37","modified_gmt":"2015-06-30T09:42:37","slug":"ptsd-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=215","title":{"rendered":"PTSD"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Recently I found myself facing a dilemma &#8211; two difficult choices. One morning it was dark and raining when time to leave for work &#8211; not a good combination for me because it has the potential to transport me back to a traumatic event that occurred decades ago. So do I drive into work on wet roads with lots of traffic or do I risk a panic attack on the over-crowded train? Either way it was going to be a tough transit into the office. The temptation to call in sick was quite high. If I take the train, I then have to face the trip home again also filled to overflowing with people.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/traffic2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone  wp-image-218\" src=\"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/traffic2-300x227.jpg\" alt=\"traffic2\" width=\"235\" height=\"178\" srcset=\"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/traffic2-300x227.jpg 300w, https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/traffic2.jpg 429w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 235px) 100vw, 235px\" \/><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/traffic1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone  wp-image-216\" src=\"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/traffic1.jpg\" alt=\"traffic1\" width=\"157\" height=\"179\" \/><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/traffic3.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone  wp-image-217\" src=\"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/traffic3.jpg\" alt=\"traffic3\" width=\"247\" height=\"174\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The thing about PTSD is that very often what causes the anxiety is not rational and even more so when you suffer from a complex form of the illness as I do. The past week has been like that for me. After a number of incidents on the other side of the world, I find myself back in a hyper-alert state. Add to that an armed hold-up at my local movie house and I never want to leave my house again. A bit extreme, I know, but it is honestly how I feel. The nightmares are back as is the feeling of hopelessness &#8211; the fear that I will never get to a state of thriving.<\/p>\n<p>I have tried avoiding the news for months now but somehow these things filter through. Clearly avoidance is not the answer for me. I would need to avoid Facebook too but that would mean being totally cut-off from everybody and I am isolated enough already. I am making it through each day with sheer determination not to totally surrender to the illness. I feel unsafe walking out the front door, never mind working in the city and having to go shopping. I decided yesterday it is now time for me to start grocery shopping on-line &#8211; a step backwards from my point of view.<\/p>\n<p>Is it possible,to come back from here? Heck yes &#8211; I have before so will again. It is disappointing to be sure but sometimes things get worse before they get better. The point is, I cannot give up. I keep having to put one foot in front of the other, take a deep breath and press on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Recently I found myself facing a dilemma &#8211; two difficult choices. One morning it was dark and raining when time to leave for work &#8211; not a good combination for me because it has the potential to transport me back&#8230;<br \/><a class=\"read-more-button\" href=\"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=215\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ptsd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=215"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":219,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215\/revisions\/219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}