Today I have been blogging for a year. It has been a unique experience for me. I have learnt a lot about myself and how to begin the process of thriving with this illness. The moments of thriving have been small but more frequent and I appreciate each one of them.<\/p>\n
I am so thankful for the support of many of my readers. It means a lot to me that they have taken the time to reach out and encourage me on my journey. I am also grateful that, at times, what I have shared in this space has helped some along the way in their journeys.<\/p>\n
As I read through some of my posts, I thought I would share of the highlights for me over the past year.<\/p>\n
Towards the end of last year, I came to realise that I was low on hope<\/i><\/b>.<\/b> I am more hopeful than I was a year ago – it’s still on the low side but increasing for which I am thankful. Part of that is because I learnt to take mini time-outs during my day<\/i><\/b>, <\/i>to be present more often; to try life in the slow lane.<\/i><\/b> Part of it has been able to see a friend navigate her way through stress and panic and see that it is possible to become more and more whole. I have learnt that having a panic attack will not kill me. It is possible to go from survival mode to thriving mode<\/i><\/b> .<\/p>\n
“<\/i>What if you look at this current situation you’re in as a gift?”<\/i><\/b> I sometimes forget the wisdom of this challenge, but every time I remember I find myself being thankful that I can actually learn something new – a new strategy, a new way to react or process what I am experiencing, a new opportunity to show myself some grace and kindness.<\/p>\n
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says ‘I will try again tomorrow’ – ANON.<\/i><\/b> If this true, I am becoming more courageous by the day. I still sometimes end my day with a whimper, but it is rare for me not to try again the next day.<\/p>\n
I have a dream of becoming the very best version of me possible.<\/b> I still have this dream even on days when I feel like I am living a nightmare and can’t see a way forward. I can still dream of make a difference, however small, in my world.<\/p>\n
In April, I started my post with these words ‘I awaken this morning and notice a shift. It seems like I have spent the last fifty odd years fighting for my very survival in one form or another. But today, all the fight has left me.’ <\/i><\/b>I had given up but those around me were not ready for me to do so. They reached out and changed my whole perspective. I learnt the value of doing life with friends – kindred spirits – who will come alongside when the going gets tough and carry you through to firmer ground. I never want to take those I love for granted. Sometimes we need to simply ask for help.<\/p>\n
My friend mentioned to me that when she is in survival mode, she focuses on\u00a0<\/b>“taking good care of me, just once decision at a time. What to eat, what to focus on, what to share, what to do”<\/i><\/b>. <\/b>I think I am learning to do this more and more.<\/p>\n
Think before you speak<\/i><\/b> – if you have nothing good or kind to say it is better to keep quiet. This reminds of something I saw recently using the word think – T – is it True – consider the source of the information; H – is it helpful or harmful; I- does it inform or instruct or is it destructive; N – is it Nice or nasty; K – is it kind or cutting?<\/p>\n
I have come to understand that for me it is a moment by moment decision to choose life – not to numb the pain but to walk through it.<\/i><\/b> This harder on some days than others. Some days I have to remind myself of this, but thankfully, those days are happening less and less.<\/p>\n
Sometimes you have to retreat, refresh, recharge before you can move forward<\/i><\/b>. I think as I begin my short Christmas break, that I am in this space again. In many ways it has been a tough year and I need to recharge before a new year begins. I am glad of the down-time I can squeeze in with no pressure to perform or achieve.<\/p>\n
My friend says ‘change what you can, accept what you can’t and be at peace with the rest<\/i><\/b>‘ – this is good advice. I still never want to waste a worry or to lose my smile. It’s easier some days than others to count my blessings but I keep trying to think of something to be grateful for every day no matter how small but I think I am getting better at accepting the unchangeable.<\/p>\n
It’s been a heck of a year and I am looking forward to a new year of learning and more thriving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today I have been blogging for a year. It has been a unique experience for me. I have learnt a lot about myself and how to begin the process of thriving with this illness. The moments of thriving have been…
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