{"id":324,"date":"2016-07-18T11:15:22","date_gmt":"2016-07-18T11:15:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=324"},"modified":"2016-07-18T11:15:22","modified_gmt":"2016-07-18T11:15:22","slug":"random-thoughts-of-a-sleep-deprived-blogger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=324","title":{"rendered":"Random thoughts of a sleep deprived blogger"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Thought<\/a><\/p>\n

Lately when I get in my car to go to and from work, I tell myself “it’s not a competition, it’s not a race”. Before I started doing this, I found myself getting frazzled in my daily commute. I would get angry at the antics of some of my fellow travellers and arrive stressed and needing time to calm down. Now I arrive fairly relaxed and ready for the day. I have also changed my route. Instead of fighting my way down the freeway, I now take the back roads and they are almost deserted on the way in to the office. It’s been a good, healthy change I think. The afternoon commute is still busy but my new mantra is keeping me calm and largely unaffected by others in the traffic.<\/p>\n

My sleep problem has not improved much lately – if anything it is worse. Some nights I only get one or two hours of sleep. I tried a new medication but it’s difficult to get the dosage right without being in a haze the next day. I keep reminding myself I have survived this before and will again. Getting through some days is harder than others. I frequently find myself overwhelmed and close to tears. If you ask me why I feel tearful, most times I can’t tell you – I cannot put it into words.<\/p>\n

I had a conversation with my brother recently – over an hour long – and it’s the first time I realised he totally understood me and where I was at and I felt I understood him a little better too. I had no idea we were both experiencing a really difficult issue in our lives. We both cried on the phone and he reminded me he loved me before hanging up. I cannot express what that conversation did for me – thanks bro. my recent interactions with my siblings has made me realise how disengaged I really am and how little I actually know about their struggles. I never used to be like this but know I have very little emotional energy.<\/p>\n

At the beginning of the year, I vowed to laugh more – to be intentional about finding things to make me smile or laugh out loud – and I succeeded the first couple of months but little by little as I entered full on survival mode again, I have forgotten to smile, to find humour. All my energy is going into making it through each day. So feel free to send me your funnies as a reminder that laughter really is medicine.<\/p>\n

I have realised of late that I spend a lot of time saying ‘I should’ or ‘I must’ instead of just going ahead and doing. I have a friend who talks about – and practices – living intentionally. I have been hanging around her for a few weeks and have found myself challenged by her outlook on life. Her life is not complicated and she is at peace – I am envious. I have another friend who, no matter where in the world she is or what the weather, will find a nice spot each morning to do her exercises and meditation. She is one of the most balanced people I know and I have to wonder if the way she starts her days plays a part in that.<\/p>\n

I like this Latin phrase – Dum vivimus vivamus – while we live, let us live. I need to do that more…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lately when I get in my car to go to and from work, I tell myself “it’s not a competition, it’s not a race”. Before I started doing this, I found myself getting frazzled in my daily commute. I would…
Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ptsd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=324"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":326,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions\/326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}