{"id":370,"date":"2017-06-06T08:21:30","date_gmt":"2017-06-06T08:21:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=370"},"modified":"2017-06-06T08:21:30","modified_gmt":"2017-06-06T08:21:30","slug":"on-the-path-to-unlearning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=370","title":{"rendered":"On the path to unlearning\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/WIP.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-371\" src=\"http:\/\/solosurvior.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/WIP.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"194\" height=\"136\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>Transformation is often more about unlearning than learning &#8211; Richard Rohr. <\/strong>I am reading a number of books at moment and this seems to be a common thread through all of them. I am a little slow sometimes and need to hear things repeatedly before they sink in, but once they do, it changes things for me.<\/p>\n<p>About 9 months ago I had to find a new therapist, and one of the first things she did was give me script to repeat out loud multiple times a day in an attempt to rewire my brain and the way I think. I was really diligent the first few weeks and then life happened &#8211; as it does &#8211; and I forgot. I have started again recently, and hopefully, will keep it up.<\/p>\n<p>But, from what I understand RR to be saying, it&#8217;s about unlearning my automatic responses and not about learning some new method or ideology. It&#8217;s about unlearning the lies I based my behaviours on -actions and reactions &#8211; and learning the truth, replacing the lies with the truth. It&#8217;s about becoming the real me and not the me I think you want me to be.<\/p>\n<p>RR also says &#8220;<em>We are largely concerned with surviving successfully<\/em>&#8220;. I have made a career out of doing this &#8211; surviving. But isn&#8217;t life about more than that? Shahna Nequist says something that resembles me &#8211; &#8220;<em>I choose to outrun and overstuff my life to avoid the darkness<\/em>.&#8221; I am learning, though, that this doesn&#8217;t work &#8211; you can&#8217;t outrun anything. The darkness, pain, nightmares are still there, lurking. The only way to outrun the darkness is to turn on a light, or light a candle &#8211; shine a little truth on the situation. I have decided I am too old now to pretend to be what I am not.<\/p>\n<p>I have been reading a little book called &#8220;You are what you believe&#8221; and it too hints at <i>unlearning <\/i>beliefs we have based our lives on.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<i>Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy . Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.<\/i>&#8221; &#8211; Anthony Robins. If you doubt about the power of your beliefs contrast the one who is willing to strap on a vest and blow himself and those around him up, to the little nun in Calcutta, who dedicated her life to the poor and sick, because of what they believe.<\/p>\n<p>The experts tell us that we have 4 basic needs<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Need to live<\/li>\n<li>The need to love and be loved<\/li>\n<li>The need to feel important<\/li>\n<li>Variety<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These four needs and what we believe about them, dictate our behaviour, our actions.<\/p>\n<p>Anne Lamont says &#8220;<i>my mind is a bad neighbourhood<\/i>&#8221; and I have to agree with her there. Looking back I can so many times where my faulty, sometimes toxic, thinking has brought me to a place I don&#8217;t want to be. Many times to the brink of suicide. Those thoughts do not meet my <i>need to live<\/i>, so need to be\u00a0changed.<\/p>\n<p>This is a process and I am still trying to identify things I need to unlearn, the beliefs that I have gone wrong. There is a huge work in progress sign over my life right now. It&#8217;s hard, and painful, but will so be worth it in the end &#8211; I think or dare to believe. This is a journey I can no longer avoid.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Transformation is often more about unlearning than learning &#8211; Richard Rohr. I am reading a number of books at moment and this seems to be a common thread through all of them. I am a little slow sometimes and need&#8230;<br \/><a class=\"read-more-button\" href=\"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=370\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-370","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/370","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=370"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/370\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":372,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/370\/revisions\/372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=370"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=370"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=370"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}