{"id":527,"date":"2024-08-05T11:17:11","date_gmt":"2024-08-05T11:17:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=527"},"modified":"2024-08-05T11:17:11","modified_gmt":"2024-08-05T11:17:11","slug":"grief-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=527","title":{"rendered":"GRIEF"},"content":{"rendered":"
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My soul is heavy. I have grief upon grief upon grief. I feel like I am drowning in tears. My mind continually goes back to simpler, happier times as I remember those I have lost. Sometimes I smile, I cry, and even laugh out loud and cry some more. Memories are bittersweet as I realise there will be no new ones with this person. Time interrupted cruelly by death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4 years ago, this season of loss began. I had no time to process one before the next one – family, friends – leaving my heart battered, unable to get up before the next hit came. Each death pushing me further away from others and deeper into solitude until I find myself no longer engaging in the world around me. It\u2019s all become too hard, too painful. I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death. There seems to be no end in sight but through I must go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This cocoon of aloneness is a dark place with very few moments of light or energy. I am exhausted and it takes too much effort to do much more than exist right now. I know it is just a season and it\u2019s a journey not a destination; this is just a stop along the way. The sun will shine again someday or at least I hope it will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to protect my heart, but is that what\u2019s best for me? That simply means excluding so much – community, joy, laughter, love. But I need respite, a little time to regroup, cat my breath, heal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grief is such an individual thing while still being a shared experience. I\u2019ve been told we need to grieve well, but how do you do that? Grief must be acknowledged but you still need to live in your new reality – much easier said than done. After all, what is normal now? I don\u2019t have answers. To be honest, I am not even looking for them. As the good book says, weeping lasts for a night but joy comes in the morning. However, no-one told me how long the night can be!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My soul is heavy. I have grief upon grief upon grief. I feel like I am drowning in tears. My mind continually goes back to simpler, happier times as I remember those I have lost. Sometimes I smile, I cry,…
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