{"id":535,"date":"2025-01-04T10:30:53","date_gmt":"2025-01-04T10:30:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=535"},"modified":"2025-01-04T10:33:28","modified_gmt":"2025-01-04T10:33:28","slug":"not-the-started-i-hoped-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/solosurvior.com\/?p=535","title":{"rendered":"Not the start I hoped for\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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The start of 2025 is not what I hoped for – it has not been a good start. I find myself on the precipice of panic. My mind is scattered, I cannot settle, cannot sleep. Helicopters, fireworks, news of terror attacks have all escalated my anxiety and pushed me closer to the edge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am locked inside my house, unable to leave, trapped by my fear. The blinds are closed, the doors locked and I feel no need to venture out, even into the garden. My internal fire alarm is screaming though I know there is no fire – my body is reacting as if there is. Nothing feels safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I read to distract myself – a book a day at present. At times it is hard to breathe. My chest feels like there is a weight on it, stopping me from breathing deeply. My head aches from lack of sleep, I have little appetite and a general disinterest in everything around me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have been in this place before. I know it well. So I am confident I will survive it again. It may take a day or two but things will improve. I count in prime numbers – forward and backwards – to prevent the panic attacks, cycle on my stationary bike and try to regulate my breathing. This will not last. I will breathe deeply again; leave the house again; get into the garden. For now, I am hunkered down and practicing my grounding exercises to get through the day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The start of 2025 is not what I hoped for – it has not been a good start. I find myself on the precipice of panic. My mind is scattered, I cannot settle, cannot sleep. Helicopters, fireworks, news of terror…
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