Serenity…don’t waste a worry
A colleague paraphrased the serenity prayer to me recently – ‘change what you can, accept what you can’t and be at peace’ she said I know it’s solid advice but not easy to do. For a while now, I have been trying not to let things that are beyond my control get to me – not worrying about potentially losing my job if they offshore to India or lose the contract altogether.
There is so much in our lives that we can let keep us up at night. I am reminded of an old Charlie Brown cartoon where something he was worrying about never happened and he says ‘I wasted a worry’ – how many worries have I wasted? Things I had no control over but I fretted anyway – losing sleep, not seeing the abundance or blessings of what is right in front of me! After all, I have a pretty good life.
I never want to stop being grateful or lose my ability to smile – my sense of humour has seen me through many a tough time. I don’t want to be overwhelmed by hopelessness or be crippled by despair. So I have looked for the positives all around me and tried to quickly shift my focus when I feel I am been sucked into negativity again. Today I failed. The ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ landed and all my efforts of the past months disintegrated.
One of my pet peeves is being lied to and discovering my boss had lied to me went beyond the pale. It wasn’t just the lie but the injustice of the situation that made him lie to my face in the first place. Now I was angry and frustrated and was tempted to quit on the spot – thankfully I held back and did not do or say something I’d regret. Which brings me to my colleague and her version of the serenity prayer mid rant. I had to leave the office, take a deep breath and then just get on with the job.
Some days I am better than others at shaking it off and getting on with it. This was not one of those days. I feel misused and taken advantage of. I am wishing I had other skills I could use to earn a living. But at the end of the day, I count my blessings – I have a well paid job, my own home, a reliable car, people who love me – I am healthy, am mobile and can see. So I stop grumbling and start being thankful again…